Reoccurring Nightmares, Reoccurring Themes

My Mom is back in the Hospital again after having been in for an almost 3 week stay 2 weeks ago ( or somewhere along those lines ). Patrick, who lost his mother a few years before we met, is trying to talk me into going home for a visit. I am at a loss as to what to do. Please don’t get me wrong I would love to see my family and spend some time with Mom but A) how much quality time can be had in a hospital room, or while she is sick for that matter and B) who is going to watch over my ailing Husband while I am gone?

Yeah Patrick is still pretty much a mess, his last Dr.’s Appt did not go as well as planned. Instead of a date for surgery, he was given the opinion that the Dr. thinks he should go back to work for a month. UH>>>>>> EXCUSE ME BUT WTF!!!??? Imagine a world where you could not even put your right arm parallel to the ground without it feeling like someone is jabbing a knife in your neck. Now imagine that you are doing the job of a restaurant Mgr, IE running food to tables, bussing tables etc with all this pain. That is the world Dr. wants P to live in for a whole month before they reconsider surgery. A surgery that has been held over Patrick’s head like an apple before a horse, with the emotional roller coaster of YEAH it’s finally gonna happen no more pain, then to hear “no, lets wait one more month.” He has heard this about 4 times now.

Just as a recap this has been an ongoing deal for a little over a year and a half. 3 surgeons, 1 physical therapist and a general practitioner have mandated that the surgery be done post haste, before he looses the use of his whole arm, yet still we wait. While at the Dr. Patrick asked him , “So, lets play the devil’s advocate here and say I do go back to work, and something worse happens to my arm. Is WC still going to cover me then?

The Dr stared for a minute and said ,”Well I am not sure.” then looked at the WC nurse who was still there and asked her. She wasn’t sure either. To put a little more icing on the cake on the way home from his appt. a truck that was in front of him ( yes he was on the scooter) made a quick right hand turn , sending P ass over elbow. Of course the guy had no Insurance and was crying (literally) for Patrick to let him go or he would be sent home. Turns out Patrick now has 2 broken bones in his left foot and is in a cast.

I need a break…..WE need a break, before something in both of us snaps irreparably. I hate to see my heart in pain, what is worse is seeing 2 parts of the same heart,1 thousands of mile away from me hurting. In short ….it sucks.

Been awhile

Sometimes life just gets in the way of blogging. When you get sooooo wrapped up in living, and you think “hey that would make a good post’, but you never get around to posting it. That’s where I am right now. Work is slow but we just had a major property inspection , so I was busting my butt getting our area ready for that.

On top of that, my Mom’s health is not doing that well. She has COPD, which is a chronic lung disorder, so she has been in and out of the hospital for a few years. Lately though, she seemed to be doing well, until this last episode, in which she went into Cardiac arrest twice. She is doing much better now, she is back at home after spending I believe it was 2 weeks in the hospital. It may have been less but it felt like forever.  It’s tough when you are over 3,000 miles away when something like this happens. Luckily I was kept well informed by family what was going on.

Other than that not too much has been going on here in the South Pacific. Been reading alot, hanging out with Patrick and Lola and our neighbors, C and B. We actually had a nice relaxing 4th of July BBQ at the complex. Simple stuff Burgers, Hot dogs, Potato and Macaroni salads and my first ever made from scratch (except for the crust) Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice cream and caramel sauce. We ended the night with a small but fun fireworks display, but were done by about 9.

Patrick will be having what we hope, is his last Dr visit before surgery on the 15th. On that day he will , hopefully, be given a date for the surgery so we can move out of the never ending Workman’s Comp cycle. We shall see.

I had NO Idea

The other night Patrick and I were watching Animal planet. They have a reality show called Groomer Has It . Yeah the show is cheesy, the contestants are for the most part whack jobs but I/we have gotten sucked in. During each episode they have challenges and then they also compete while grooming a dog.

A couple of weeks ago they had to go to a No kill shelter that was having an Open house/Adaption fair. Each groomer was told to pick a dog, groom it , and then try to get it adapted at the “fair”. One thing I do like about the show is, as they are going to commercials they have helpful grooming tips,trivia/information etc. This episode I was not too thrilled with the info part. It is common knowledge that shelters are overfull and people sometimes do not do what is right for their pets . What I did not know was that 60 -80 MILLION . Yes you read that right MILLION animals are sent to shelters world wide. Here’s the really really sad fact of the 60 - 80 MILLION animals placed in shelters 70% are euthanized ANNUALLY if my math is correct that is about 56 MILLION ANIMALS PER YEAR.

Now, I am not trying to be depressing here, but those numbers just ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on said heart, then shoved it back into the gaping hole in my body. I am not one to preach(much) , even though I did go to Bible college and took 2 semesters of Homiletics ( the study of learning how to preach). But c’mon world let’s use some common sense when it comes to our 4 footed friends. Spay and Neuter, be prepared before ownership,use no kill shelters, etc etc. We all know all of this stuff but some chose to ignore common sense, everyday wisdom. And, because we chose not to use the sense God gave us 56 Million animals die every year, silent victims of our stubbornness/ignorance. Now,I know all of my readers know better than this but help get the word out.

-end Sermon - ( Hallelujah brother…Amen)-

Time it is a flyin’

Where has this year gone ? I mean really, do ya’ll realize that in just 2 days, we will be 6 months into ‘08? Six months, that’s half of the year. Walmart and Long’s will have their holiday decorations out before you know it (note my use of pc- ness by not calling them Christmas decorations).

Not much going on at this point, well a few things. Patrick has an appt. with his surgeon on Thursday so we should know then when the surgery will be. That is the major thing, because as soon as he heals we can move on with our life. The surgeon said by looking at the MRI he should have a relatively quick recovery period. He will have to have his arm immobilized for about 6 weeks, then he can start PT.

On another note me and my old thesbian friends have started group chatting with the Yahoo messenger, we have been having a great time getting reaquainted. It’s so funny how, with some people you know, you can not talk to them for years but when you finally do it’s like you just talked to them yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, Patrick got an ipod. We came home from some errands and on our porch was an UPS envelope with another Costco gift card (from Patrick’s dad). We are now officially in the 21st century, and although we only got 1, I can perhaps see myself getting one in the near future. We got him an ipod Nano, due to the fact that while he is in his recovery stage it will be quite boring for him.

 Work for me is winding down for the season with only one more big group the first week of June. Seems like everything is falling into place. With it being slow at work, I will get to take some time off after the surgery, to help Patrick, as he enters the healing stage of his saga.

The scooters have proven to be the best idea we have ever had, IMHO. With gas prices rocketing closer to $5.00 per gallon here. It helps when you can fill your tank with premium gas for 5 bucks and run with that for about 15 days ….I’m just sayin’. 

Weary……. Weary….. Weary…..

At times I get so aggravated dealing with people who don’t know , or worse yet don’t care how tough it is being gay. Especially went the people you fight with the hardest to see your point, are family members. I have a sister that I rarely hear from unless it is to send me an email chain ( angel babies, stupid jokes , send this to 4 people and something good will happen that kind of stuff) I got the chance to speak to her over the Mother’s day weekend. She started to yell at me for never replying to any of her emails , none of which and any personal stuff from her end on how she is doing etc etc. I felt like telling her to “send me something with some content and then maybe I would reply”. But, I didn’t she is my sister after all and it was Mothers Day, I let it slide. 

I let it slide until yesterday, when she sent me an email talking about the evil democrats and how both of their candidates support Gay marriage ( among other things). I knew I had to speak up or deal with this kind of stuff from her all the time . It seems that she has forgotten that I am a Gay man. So I sent her an email, (and got a lil heated) about the whole Gay marriage thing . I asked her how she thought that I would not be in support of gay marriage considering the fact that I am a gay man and all. I told her about how when I was in the Hospital and seriously, could have died from blood clots in my artery. And how poor Patrick had a fight on his hands, whenever he tried to see me, with nurses etc because he was not Family. I guess the biggest thing for me is it just hurts that she would not want better than that for a sibling. If she even thinks about all that I ( we ) am( are)  denied, just because of who we sleep with and love. How we have to live like we have done something wrong ,or there is something wrong with us . I have not received a reply from my sister. I most likely will not, she is probably mad at me for speaking up in my own behalf. Sorry, I just can’t stay quiet about it anymore.

My own mom , whom I love dearly still won’t even watch my wedding DVD. Things like this usually, don’t bother me. I do ( kinda) understand where she is coming from, and I respect her wishes about my ” being Gay”. She says that she loves to hear about our life (mine and Patrick’s) but there is a line she will not cross. I thought it would be different with sisters but I suppose I was wrong. Granted I am lucky enough to have gotten through to one sister ( Love ya Lorry) but I am just at a loss as to what needs to be done next. Maybe nothing, we shall see……..

Congratulations are in Order

Tomorrow May 22,2008 not 1 but 2 of my nephews will officially be proud members of the Army Military Police Force. Say what you will about the military or this administrations blatant misuse thereof. But it takes brass gazoongas ( I think ) to join the military, at this point in time .  

This is not a political post, it is a post about an uncle who loves and is very proud of 2 young men who are doing what they think, is the right path for them. Go get ‘em D&A !!

One is silver, the other gold

Friends of course , is what I am speaking of. You guys remember that song , don’t you? From like a Sunday School or nursery school or from some where when we were all young and innocent. If you don’t remember , the words are :

Make new friends,

Make new friends, But keep the old. One is silver , the other gold .

I bet you all remember now huh?

Anyway I have been getting reaquainted with some old friends of late. You might recall how a couple of years ago I had “re-found” 3 of my old friends from theater days in College. We have stayed in touch emailing and such and, thanks largely to one of them “J” we have found almost all of our old group. I am telling ya she is really good at this finding lost people stuff!! So we have found each others Facebook pages and so forth and are having fun seeing what’s has been going on in each others lives. It is exciting each time I get another email from that thread , because I know ‘J” has worked her magic and another Lost sheep has been found. This has not been set in concrete but there is talk of a reunion sometime in the future. The one bad thing about all of this is that there are pictures ya’ll…..and I am talking pictures that do not catch me in the most flattering of lights. I may have mentioned that I was a geek when I was younger. Yeah …these pictures prove that point to a T. Seriously, pictures or no, I am glad to have the chance I have to get reaquainted with folk who mean so much to me and are on my mind often.

 

Build a bridge and get over it

I suppose I could have put this in my “100 things about me page”,I didn’t think of it at the time. The stress of thinking about 100 things about me was too high. I love bridges. I have lived around some sort of bridge for as long as I can remember. When we were little, our mother used to walk us to one of our Aunts, and on that walk we had to cross a steel grate bridge. I used to be terrified of that one because I was little and thought we could fall through the grates to our untimely death.

Then we moved to Alabama,since we lived outside of Huntsville we would have to traverse these bridges on a regular basis to “get to town”.                                                                                                             

    

Later after spending many of my childhood years crossing these bridges I moved to San Jose, Ca. To be only a 45 minute ride to perhaps one of the most Famous Bridges in the world .

 

I had the good fortune of being close friends with an artist while I lived in SJ. She painted me a oil canvas painting of a photo I took of the Golden Gate Bridge, the first time I ever saw it and walked across it. It is one of the first pictures I hang when I move to a new home.

Then after my 7 year sojourn in California I moved to the lovely city of Portland, Oregon. Portland is the city of many things, great public transportation, close to Mt.Hood and the home of one of the most beautiful rose gardens I have ever seen. Yeah it rains in the PNW, and it gets cold, Fall and Winter are sometimes miserable there, but it is also home to 7 bridges( Name them ?? I sure Can ; Ross Island bridge,Hawthorne bridge,Burnside bridge,Morrison bridge,Steel bridge,Broadway bridge and the Fremont bridge) ( 8 if you count the Marquam bridge, which I don’t) that connect NE and NW Portland to it counterparts SE and SW. From our first apartment together ( Patrick and I), we could see from SE across the River to the NE area, which, gave us a excellent view of not only most of the downtown city scape, but also 3 of the bridges I grew to love.

I could stare at the bridges in Portland for hours just sitting in their waterfront park. Because I had moved there right after my first meaningful break up many hours were spent in the park, contemplating life and watching the river and it’s bridges.

 Needless to say there are not that many bridges here on Maui, I never thought I would miss them as much as I do, but I do. Just one more reason I am ready to move back to the PNW. For 6 years they were part of everyday of my life in some form or fashion, just as the bridges that span the Tennessee River back in ‘Bama were a big part of growing up. They became companions, they gave me comfort and a sense of familiarity, a sense of place if you will. Not that I am in a hurry anymore to move away from Paradise, because I am not. However, when the times comes, and we are back in Portland, it will be good to see her many bridges. To know that they will become integral parts of my life once again. It will be nice to go and sit in the park, gaze over the river and say ” Hello old friends, it’s good to see you all again.”  I know they will take no notice of me, after all, they are just concrete, steel and cable, but I will take notice of them, and be happy to do so.

A peek inside my DVR*

*DVR = Digital Video recorder. Similar to a TIVO but comes in a package with digital cable.

I figure that as enthralled as ya’ll are with my “peek into my Library” posts I would give you a more rounded picture of how we spend our leisure time. Unfortunately, Patrick will not let me spend all of my days off just reading, so some time has to be spent watching “our shows” with him.

So in my DVR line-up I have the following shows ( in no particular order)

AI - Otherwise known as American Idol- I really screwed up this week and gave Brooke White pity votes and my girl Carly Smithson was sent packin’. I feel bad for her( Carly). I really thought she could have gone at least to the top three. However since I voted for Brooke instead of Carly I single handedly gave her her ticket home .

New Amsterdam - An 400 year old Immortal Cop who is destined to live forever unless he finds ” the one” the girl who will make him a mortal. Along the way he puts away the bad guys.

Cold Case- I LOVE this show except I think they actually do have some sun in Philadelphia. You couldn’t tell though with how pasty white, one of the lead actors (Lily) is. Police precinct some detective are in the cold case unit and solve old unsolved murder cases.

Eli Stone- A lawyer with an brain aneurysm has visions ( complete with some musical numbers, and George Michael). They lead him to take certain cases ( or not) . His Acupuncturist thinks he is a Prophet. His brother (a Dr. who actually found the aneurysm) thinks the visions come from the aneurysm. Seriously this shows last three episodes including the season finale had me a bit misty.

Jericho- post apocalyptic series where the U.S was nuked. survivors live in a small Kansas town called Jericho. They uncover the secret that we nuked ourselves ( well a faction did)  this season ended with the country divided East and West of the Mississippi east was D.C based government ruled ,west was ruled from a city  I can’t remember in the West. And the secret that Jericho knew made it to Texas!

Big Brother 9 enough said I love this reality show and have watched every season. 

Criminal Minds -an FBI behavioural science team goes and profiles and catches killers all over the U.S

Medium- A physic in Arizona helps the towns DA find and catch criminals.

So now you know a little more of how we spend our time. And a bit more about what I do on my days off when I am not reading, cleaning or doing various and sundry other chores. Let me know if anyone else likes these shows !!! .

Just another Manic Monday

Vacation is over. By the time I get home from work today the girls will be winging their way back to PDX ( that’s the airport code for Portland, Or. )( am I nifty or what?). We had a great time with the girls, although there were a few moments of stress, all in all I would call it a good vacation,if you can call 6 days a real vacation. How many times can I use the word vacation in this first paragraph? When I get home the house will be relatively quiet and back to the norm. I always hate it when visitors leave, because stress or no stress it is always good to see old friends, when they leave the quiet can be unsettling.

Overall, I think the girls enjoyed themselves. Aside from a hit and run and some nasty pizza, I think they had fun. We went to Lahaina for a day, spent a night at my resort and played in the pools. We also spent the better part of a day in Iao Valley( EE - Ow) , which is a gorgeous area of Maui up in the West Maui Mountains ( pictures to follow soon ). The remainder of our days were spent at home in the pool, and the girls went to the beach a couple of times, but it was windy and they didn’t stay long. The weather could have cooperated a bit more, we had a bunch of cloudy days.  

 On a more upbeat note , knowing I was going on Vacation I decided to purchase a new book/project to read. I say book/project because it really is gonna be a big investment of my time. The first book The Pillars of the Earth is 973 pages and it’s sequel World without Endi is over 1020 pages. So far, over my 6 days, I have gotten into 347 pages in and am loving it. It is way more involved than just the building of a Cathedral that’s for sure. And even though it was on Oprah’s Book club list, that’s not why I got it. It was recommended to me from a friend at Goodreads.com, yes my home away from WordPress. The best part of all of this is I just had my 6 days off, came back to work for 2 days and now I am off again for 2 more days. YAY me !!!!! Hopefully I will be doing nothing other than sitting by the pool taking some more chunks out of Pillars of the Earth, we shall see.