Archive for January, 2007


Patrick had another Dr appointment yesterday with our GP Dr. ,who we have kept in the loop about Patrick’s whole WC injury, even though he doesn’t handle WC. He is actually IRATEat the people at Kaiser as well as the WC people. I learned something new yesterday that kinda has me freaked out a bit. Patrick has  an inheritable  narrow spinal column, it’s a genetic thing 2 of his sisters have it too. Basically it means that is spinal column is smaller or I should say more narrow than most peoples.

The reason our GP is irate is the fact that this actually adds to the seriousness of his injury. The Dr. is miffed as to why they haven’t already done the surgery, apparently the physiology route is not going to help matters at all and in fact may affect it adversely.

This has me freaked out for a number of reasons, the Dr. doesn’t even want Patrick in a car unless absolutely unavoidable. He says one wrong jolt or bump or fall or anything may complicate matters and then Patrick will be in even bigger trouble . So sayeth the Dr. Now add to this the freakin WC people who are trying adamantly to prove that none of this happened during this latest fall. Which of course is slowing things all up because nowthey are subpoenaing all of Patrick’s medical records for like the past, I think 10 years. I know these people are just doing their job ……but for crying out loud folks . Here are the facts….Patrick had no pain in his neck at all for as long as I have known him. Then one day WHILE AT WORK he has an accident. After the accident he goes to the Dr then the MRI showing 2 bulging and one herniated disk in his neck .Seems fairly cut and dry to me .

I just really HATE HATE HATE to see the man who is my everything in the world have to go through all this BS. I really don’t know what else we can do to show the WC people we are not trying to pull a fraud on them. It is just very frustrating , especially knowing that there really is not one thing I can do to make Patrick feel any better . He told me last night he feels like a loser because he really isn’t contributing to our expenses. I of course told him not to be a dumb ass ( not in those words of course) and that when I said in sickness and health I meant it , some things are unavoidable. Something has got to give and I mean soon .

Thanks for reading !

The Only Constant is Change

For some reason as I have mentioned before I have been dwelling in the past lately, memories have filled my head like those darned sugarplums on Christmas Eve. I don’t know, call it mid life whatever ( Iwon’t call it a crisis cuz it is not that big a deal) I just seem to be reliving some of the best (and worst) times of my life.  One thing that keeps creeping in and giving me pause (not paws) , is how I don’t really have very many friends anymore. This post is in no way meant to be a pity me post, just an observational one. I have spoken to one friend about it in a gmail chat ( yay gmail). I can remember when I was younger. I don’t mean to be conceited but I had lots of friends. I had alot of folks who I thought were friends that I later learned were false but I was a popular guy.

Perhaps one of the reasons I feel so friendless is where I live , I am quite isolated from any decent gay gaggle. Not that my friends have to be gay but it is cool to hang with birds of a feather. Plus living out here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean folks are always coming and going . Most of the people we hung out with last year are now back on the mainland. I am not sure, perhaps it is only me, but it seems that as I get older true quality friendships are getting harder and harder to find. Plus even in the gay circles once you have a partner you might as well just give up the ghost while trying to make new friends or meet new people. Just my humble opinion.

The really strange thing too is, I used to be the life of the party, the uncle with the lampshade on his head etc etc etc . Now, more and more, I find myself more comfortable with a book or a movie, my dog and my husband. I am starting to find myself more ill at ease around people that I don’t know that well. Like a turtle or hermit crab withdrawing into it’s shell.

Not to put to fine a point on it but as I was talking to Patrick one day about some one on my blogroll as a friend his response was ” I have known you for 6 years , since when did you start having friends.” He wasn’t being mean he was being truthful. Like I said before I am not looking for pity or anything like that I am relatively happy, I just find it rather odd is all, that Icould change so much in such a small span of years. I guess the question that I would pose to those of you in my age bracket (41) is …..is this normal , does this happen to everyone or am I a freak of nature(well maybe a lil bit but who isn’t )? And who knows it could just be a geographical anomaly and once I get back to the mainland I will once again find my stride. I know of a group of people I can not wait to meet, so perhaps things are already beginning their upward climb . Who can know?? Who can tell?? All I know is the only constant in life is change, lets hope it is for the better !! 🙂

The Psychic Connection

I am not talking about Sister Cleo either. I am talking about me ..well me and Patrick and some others. Patrick and I usually try to call each other a few times a day just to check in. Lately the conversations have been getting a bit creepy. here is an example:

phone rings :

S : “hey babe”

P: “Hello psychic boy ”

S: “what are you talking about ?”

P: “I was just dialing your number”

  I guess that can kinda be explained away by routine , we both know we call each other , just a timing thing I guess you can say . So let me give you another example In the winter no matter where I live I get very dry skin and cracking on my feet, so we went and got some lotion. Last Friday we were sitting on our lanai enjoying some coffee and watching Lola romp around the yard. While drinking my coffee I happened to look down at my feet which had begun to show considerable improvement .

I said ” Wow Look my feet are already starting to look better after one night of the cream!” Patrick just started laughing , when I asked him why he was laughing he said he was just about to comment on that right when I did.

Now If this was just Patrick and I it might all be explained away we have lived together for 6 years , but now it is starting to leak into other areas. I am finishing statements for people at work I hardly know. I am calling people who were “just about to pick up the phone and call me” Just weird crap like that. Who knows maybe I am “On the list” (you won’t really get that unless you watch heroes) I might have to set up a call in line , and who knows maybe I will call myself Sister Cleo , kinda has a ring to it .

YAY!!!!! Filler

Since I really don’t have anything new or interesting to write about I thought I would try this, I ripped it off from Her

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? Patrick or Mom or one of my sisters, Or Ed MacMahon, telling me I won. ( I am not sure if he still does that but you guys know what I mean .)
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? yes! Unless I see someone in the parking lot heading into the store without one , then I see if they want it.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? I am a bit shy in social settings ( I know hard to beieve huh) but after I get to know a group it is hard to get me to shut up. But I do love to listen ( one mouth 2 ears, there is a reason for that.)
4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?  I think I would do ok , I used to spend whole days in the mountains of Bama hanging out.
5. Do you like to ride horses?  Since my I fell of off my sister’s horse when I was younger while she was trying to teach me to gallop , I would say no.
6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Never went to camp but our family did alot of camping. ( Does that count?)
7. What was your favorite board game as a kid?  As a kid it was Candyland , as an adult I love Cranium, Scategories, and Apples to Apples. I also love to play 10,000 but that is with dice so not a board game.
8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do? I would move on I have a spouse and I am content.
9. Are you judgemental? Nope not a judgemental bone in my body.

10. Would you date someone with different religious beliefs?  I  already have , I had a partner from India for 7 years
11. Are you continuing your education? i’m always learning, i love it!
12. Do you know how to shoot a gun?  not very well but I have shot a gun while I was in the Air Force ( story for another day)
13. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab?  The DVD of our wedding and some books,also Patrick’s Great great grandmothers rosary. That is assuming Patrick and Lola are already out.
14. How often do you read books?  As much as I possibly can without shirking my chores.
15. Do you think more about the past, present or future? i think about the past alot more, for some odd reason.
16. What is your favorite children’s book?  The Velveteen Rabbit.
17. How tall are you? 6′ 2″
18. Where is your ideal house located?     On a cliff or bluff overlooking the ocean with an access path to the beach
19. Last person you talked to?  Patrick ( and Lola of course)
20. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?  Last June while we were in Orlando, they don’t have an OG here on Maui.
21. What are the keys on your keychain for? my house and my car , also have my Borders rewards thingy on there, and my brass Tigger ( Tigger from Pooh I did not misspell tiger).
22. What did you do last night? Got home from work at 8 had dinner watched some TV with Patrick and went to bed (exciting huh)
23. Where is your current pain at? Right Knee, Right Hip and left Shoulder, it sucks getting older.
24. Do you like mustard? no unless it is on a huge warm pretzel
25. Do you like your Mom and Dad? i love my Mom and StepDad, my real dad is/was an ass
26. How long does it take you in the shower? fifteen minutes
27. What movie do you want to see right now?   Dream girls , The Prestige and The Bridge to Terabithia
28. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?  Yes when Lola’s Pads get dry and cracked
29. What will you do for New Year’s? WORK
30. Do you think The Grudge was scary? never saw it, but it looked kinda creepy.
31. Do you own a camera phone? yes but i don’t take many pictures with it.
32. What’s the first letter of your middle name? G
33. Who did you vote for on American Idol? Clay Aiken, Chris Daughtry and Elliott
34. How many hours of sleep do you get at night? i need 7 or eight to be able to function properly, but still need coffee
35. Do you like Care Bears? no
36. Do you know how to play poker?  never was interested in learning.
37. Do you wear your seat belt?  100% of the time. I don’t even really think about it , it is an automatic response to getting in the car.
38. What do you sleep in?  A California King size bed, with Patrick and Lola. I get less than my alotted one third though , Lola is a bed hog. Oh and Nothing.  🙂
39. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? gosh, not in the one I grew up in
40. Is your tongue pierced? No Patrick’s was when I met him though.
41. Who is the funniest person you know?  besides me ????? uh…mmmmmm…… Patrick
42. Do you like funny or serious people better? both – for different moods
43. Did you eat a cookie today? no, but muffins and pastries will be the death of me .
44. Do you use cuss words in other languages? no, i swear in english. But I try not keep it to a minimum
45. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? pay
46. When was the last time you said “I love you” and meant it? This Morning when I woke Patrick up on my way out the door to go to  work.
47. Is your cell phone usually on Vibrate or ring? ring
48. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend? No thanks I got one of those already.

Patrick Update #1

Patrick had a Dr appointment today,and,while I hate to say this for fear of jinxing anything,the Dr said he may not need surgery on his neck after all.The good thoughts vibes and prayers have helped. However,we are not out of the woods yet. Patrick had his first round of what is called PM&R(or something close to that) which is a form of traction for his neck. Supposedly it will help stretch out the neck and hopefully allow the disks to pop back into place by themselves. The process is quite painful though and 7 % of the people who have it get migraines due to the medication they have to inject into the neck before beginning traction. Patrick being as lucky as he has been through the whole ordeal IS in the 7 %.  Right now he is confined to complete and total bed (or couch) rest for the next 24 hours.

The reason the Dr. is not sure about the surgery now is that everything from the outside of Patrick’s shoulders into his neck is extremely inflamed. So much so that at this point the Dr is not sure if the PM&R is going to work. Patrick actually took a Valium before his appointment and his shoulders were still hard as a rock during the appointment. Until the Dr can do what he can to get the inflammation to go away there is no way to tell if the surgery will be needed or not,or frankly, what the next step should be.Of course,we would love to see the whole thing fix itself with further PM&R treatments, but only time will tell . So now we play the wait and see game. I hate to see my spouse in as much pain as he is in right now , however if we can get things to work out on their own without invasive surgery that would be ideal. Once again thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers,good wishes,hopes and good karma.Please keep ’em coming for a while longer,if you wouldn’t mind. They are extremely appreciated. I,of course, will keep you all posted here as things progress.

A Tribute to a Great Woman

My sister Lorry and I were chatting on Gmail the other night and the subject of one of our Grandmothers came up , I had been missing her alot lately even though she died when I was a teenager.

 It was wierd how many of the memories of “Nana” Lorry and I had in common . She was a rock while my parents were divorcing. She made it very clear in no uncertain terms that ” the problems that our parents were having were theirs and theirs alone .” That she “would always be our Nana, her love for us could not and would not end just because a marriage was.”

 We always had homemade strawberry milkshakes and homemade play-dough. But one of the best things about Nana was her love of books. I think that’s where I got it from ( huh? I like to read …no way ) we were talking about how she would read to us from Briar Rabbit and how she would make the stories “come to life” by using different voices and accents. I am not sure if she introduced me to my favorite book in the whole wide world or not , but I think she did.

And what, pray tell, is my favorite book in the whole entire world, you may ask? And I shall answer It is “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. Yeah I know it is a children’s book but it teaches a great life lesson in the following passage.

 “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the skin horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to things that are easily broken,or have sharp edges,or that have to be carefully kept. Generally,by the time you are Real,most of your hair has been loved off,and your eyes drop out. You are usually all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t really matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t ever be ugly,except to people who don’t understand.”

Thanks Nana, for teaching me how to love and how to be loved . For teaching me to love books, and broccoli.

I hope you still check in on us every now and again. I like to think you do , because I miss you lots.

180 Degrees

First and foremost I would like to thank all of you wonderfully talented and special folks who have sent warm wishes, good thoughts, good Karma etc etc . You will never really know how much they have meant to me and to Patrick as well as I share each and every one of them with him. However, I ,and Patrick as well, are making a conscious effort to turn this whole freakin boat around and get out of those depressing shoals of life. Do we have some challenges ahead of us? Yeah we do ……are those challenges insurmountable?.No they are not. Are we the only ones with problems ?Again no we are not . Time to pull ourselves out of the muck and deal with things as they come. It takes times like these when you find out who your true friends are and the funny thing is you guys know virtually nothing about us. Yet I know that all the thoughts and good wishes were as sincere as the day is long.

The great thing is I know that we will survive the whole dilemma and come out the other end stronger in our love and closer than we are now (which I feel is insanely impossible) yet I know it will come to pass. I also want to apologise for the depressing posts of the past 2 days. I have stumbled upon some blogs in the past that have been very depressing and have sworn to myself I would not go there , and yet I have .  I am not an easy person to get down, but it does happen every once in awhile. To sum my way of thinking up I will leave you with a quote from my favorite musical movie .

” From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success” We are just waiting for some blooms.

*** Special bonus points if you know what movie that song is from. HINT:It involves some Candy and a Automobile.***

OK………….. so many of you may be wondering where I have been for the past 5 days, or, perhaps you haven’t missed me enough to care . But I am gonna tell you anyway, so there. At this point we have no news as to whether or not Patrick can go to the mainland for surgery.As a matter of fact now that the WC folks know how severe his injury is they are all just being peaches and cream ( and if you can’t smell the sarcasm from where you are allow me to tell you that was sarcasm, they are all being royal bitches.) Anyway allow me to recap last week for you .

Monday : Patrick receives his MRI results , which I have already recapped here for you. I won’t beat a dead horse.

Monday early morning/ Tuesday : Patrick gets no sleep due to his neck pain and a new Tooth Ache.

Tuesday Day : Patrick goes to the Dentist and is informed he needs a root canal done and a huge abscess drained. Procedure goes well.

Tuesday Night: I ask to leave work early, because for some unknown reason my left eye is a demonic red color and is swelling up.

Wednesday : I go to our Doctor to find I have a bacterial infection really bad in my left eye and moving to the right quickly. I was given eye drops. The bad thing about the eye drops is I could not wear my contacts with them, and I have no glasses. I did , but I broke them and hadn’t had the time or inclination to get a new pair. All day Wednesday is spent in a blind stupor . However one ray of sunshine in all this bleakness is I got to stay home from work for 5 days.

Thursday : Most of the day on Thursday was spent riding around blind in the car while trying to find an optometrist who could squeeze me in. Then finding a place to get quick glasses made with out costing me my first born child. Luckily the optometrist who saw me knew an independent Dr. with a lab and I got my glasses for a little over $100.00, made in 15 minutes.

Friday and Saturday : These days were actually DRAMA FREE. Friday was a well deserved beach day with friends culminating in a pork tenderloin dinner. Saturday was spent cleaning house and BBQing with some other friends that we hadn’t seen in awhile. Pork Ribs and Sirloin and Veggie Kabobs ..ummm yummy.

Now it is Sunday night and I am at work. Ready for the Icing on the whole freaking cake ?? Because I used some sick time I will not likely have another day off for the next 10 days ……. nice huh? That my friends is why I try not to use my sick days . I hope and pray that your weeks all went better than the week we had. Luckily since it came in 3’s we should be good for awhile . Touch wood ( and not the kind you are thinking about you dirty minded folks.)

Bad News on the MRI Front

So Patrick went today to get his results from his MRI. Said results are not great, hell they are not even good.  I could tell he had been crying when I answered the phone at work.He needs to have surgery on his neck ASAP. He has three discs that are severely damaged.Two of them are ruptured and and rubbing against his spinal column. The doctor told him that he needs to be very careful with everything he does from now until he has the surgery. He got his haircut yesterday and the Dr. said he should have waited. Patrick said “Is it really that bad?” And the Dr. replied in the affirmative.

The problem with his shoulder though is not as bad as we thought. The Doc said that with a little physical therapy it should right itself. So now the problem lies in the fact of where to have the surgery. We found out, while going through my whole knee ordeal, that the islands,or at least Maui doesn’t get the greatest surgeons. So we could send him to Portland to OHSU, Patrick still has 2 sisters living in the Portland,Or/Vancouver, Wa. area. Or we could send him to Boston where the rest of his family is, in fact while talking to one of his Boston sisters , the family would like him to go to Boston.

The next problem lies in the fact that if he goes to the mainland to have surgery, which I am totally ok with him doing ,will I be able to go with him? I know I have FMLA at work so I should be able to go but a) I am not sure how long that covers and b) Not sure if it covers domestic partners. I believe it should since he is on my insurance but will have to find out through HR. If not I might have to take my vacation and am not sure they will grant that. I am comfortable with him being in the care of his family and me staying here, if I have to. By the same token , it is risky neck surgery and I feel that I should be there if I can be . So please send us some good thoughts prayers karma whatever you have good to throw this way. If any of you have advice on what I should do should we decide on the mainland send that my way too !!!! Once again I thank you in advance for all of your heart felt wishes.

Amusing Arbitrary Facts

***** Please disregard this post !!! I have been hornswaggled into believing a lie , I guess I should know better than believe anything I read on the internets. I apologize to any who have already wasted their time by reading this post.*****

Some of these I found pretty interesting , although some I already knew. See how many you already knew about .

 1) The word stewardesses is the longest word you can type with you left hand, Lollipop is the longest with your right hand . Assuming you use the correct typing method.

2) No word in the english language rhymes with month,orange,silver or purple.

3) Dreamt is the only word that ends in “mt”.

4) Our eyes are the same size from birth while our noses and ears keep growing until we die.

5) The sentence ” The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the alphabet.

6) The words racecar, kayak and level are the same either left to right or right to left. These are called palindromes.

7) There are only 5words in the english language the end in “ous”. Tremendous,horrendous,stupendous,hideous and hazardous.

8 ) The word facetious uses all the vowels in their proper order.

9) A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

10) A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.

11) A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes at the same time.

12) Snails can sleep for 3 years.

13) Almonds are a member of the peach family.

14) An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

15) Children are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child’s 2-6th year.

16) In the last 4,000 years there have been no newly domesticated animals.

17) If the population of China walked past you 8 abreast, due to the rate of reproduction, the line would never end.

18) Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

19) There are more chickens than people in the world.

20) It was so cold in the winter of ’32 that Niagra Falls froze completely solid.

And last but not least

Bonus*** Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

I hope you enjoyed these totally useles pieces of info. Who knows maybe one of you will get on a game show and win a bunch of money with one of these answers. If that happens please email me for my address to send me a cut !!!

**** UPDATE :  Ya’ll # 7 is wrong , I’m just saying ……sheesh I did not make these up . I got them off of the INTERNETS *****